Dudes Transporter 2 Movie Review

What can I say about Transporter 2? I already predicted that it would rule beyond anything. Was I all hype? Yes, and no. I believe I may have hyped it up to be the most amazing film of our times. It's clearly not. But it is a hell of a fun time.

It tells the story of Frank Martin(Jason Statham), a Transporter. You might remember him as the guy who kicked everyone's ass in France in the first Transporter movie. Transporter lacks the surprise of the first one. By surprise, I mean the surprise that Transporter was much better than it had any right to be. And it contained that ridiculously awesome fight scene with the oil slick and him on bicycle pedals. Who could have possibly seen THAT one coming? Anyway, Transporter has found himself in full Man on Fire mode, driving the child of America's Drug Czar (Matthew Modine.. where the hell have YOU been?) to and from school. The kid's pretty cute, but could be annoying if he were in it anymore, or devising clever ways to escape. You see, he's kidnapped by some vaguely foreign dude who represents the drug cartels of Colombia. Anyway, the kid's snatched, and the Transporter promised the kid he'd never be hurt, so Transporter is on a rampage trying to get the kid back.

This movie is actually more clever than you think. It has a plot, that actually advances with actions. It's not just Transporter kicking everybody's ass and calling it a day. Granted, the fight scenes are awesome. There's some great driving scenes, and a phenomenal fight on a docked boat that's brutal as all hell. And the fire hose fight is badass. OH, and there's a part where there's a bomb on the bottom of the Transporter's car, and the way which he disposes it is so ridiculous, that your enjoyment of the rest of the film pretty much hinges upon this event. If you say that's stupid, you probably shouldn't be seeing a movie called Transporter 2. If you can dig it, you'll have a fun old time.

I mentioned in my pre-review about how these flicks are light years better than the multi million Bond epics, which are the same movie in sheep's clothing. Have the honesty to admit that you want your Bond movies to be the Transporter. He does everything Bond has represented: fighting injustice, driving really fast, beautiful women all around, exotic locations, ridiculous escapes. It's all here, and presented in a nice 90 minute time frame. Talk about trimming the fat.

Statham is awesome. I'll say it, the man is great. I realize that I usually enjoy everything he's involved with, and if I don't enjoy the movie, I usually will like him. (Italian Job, I'm looking in your direction. You took the Transporter, and essentially made him the Transporter in a smaller car, and with fewer people to kick the ass of). I do have to say, that I read an article that claims the Transporter is gay. Which would explain the polo shirt buttoned up in the first one, and the sudden visit in this film from the French inspector who seems to fly to Miami only to cook for the Transporter. I read an interview with Louis Leterrier, the film's director (and co-director of the first and of the recent Unleashed, which kicked a lot of ass) and he claims that the Transporter is gay, but that it's not a big deal. All I know is that the man kicks ass and he does it with style. And that's all I really want out of a movie like Transporter 2.

I gotta give credit to the most brilliant idea in the entire movie. That being Lola,(Kate Nauta) the psychopathic henchwoman of the bad guy. She's usually only in her underwear, and brandishing two silenced machine pistols. She also seems to be one of those girls who likes her sex really rough, where pain really gets her off. Anyway, like I said, she's just a pure manifestation of sex and violence, in one purdy package. Seriously, there are times when I felt this movie was plucked from my 14 year old self's brain, indulging in everything I love about movies without all that pesky criticism that's been creeping. Pure fun.