Immortal Movie Review

Posted by: The Dude

This movie's a strange little piece of French cinema. I think it's French. I was told it was French. It doesn't really matter. The film is like a strange hybrid of the Fifth Element, Sky Captain, and Final Fantasy. It's weird and a little too convoluted for it's own good. But it sure looks pretty.

It's the future, 2095, and a pyramid comes floating over New York City. Horus, one of the Egyptian gods that claims to have made our world (he's the one with the falcon head) has seven days left until he loses his immortality and dies. He needs to find a host body, and then find a mate with whom he can plant his seed and achieve more immortality. Horus leaves his pyramid and goes into the city to search.

Meanwhile, a blue haired girl named Jill (Linda Hardy, who sometimes looks very hot and sometimes not as much) winds up at a Eugenics lab, or something. You know something, i was a little confused by this whole part. But she's got blue hair, and you know she'll be important, because all women in the future who have odd colored hair will somehow involve in bigger events.

Then there's Nikopol (Thomas Kretschmann) a criminal in the cryo-prison that circles the city. Because he was in Cryo, his body won't reject Horus, so he becomes a host vessel. But not before Horus welds him an iron leg. That was pretty cool.

Anyway, so the rest of the movie is about Nikopol, possessed by Horus, in an attempt to get laid. (Try to guess with who). There's a whole bunch of other stuff going on as well, like a red alien that's straight out of The Last Starfighter, who travels the sewers to try and kill them. It didn't make a whole lot of sense, and it took long to get anywhere.

Oh, and some characters are CG. Some are really good CG, but some are straight from a video game CG. And then there's live action. It's weird. When they mix, sometimes it looks really well done, and sometimes it doesn't. It's crazy. A lot of the CG backgrounds, though, are very cool. They're stylized in that cold grey/blue look. And the technology looks pretty cool. It's definitely a fully realized world, and a lot of care was taken in crafting it.

I just wished I cared more. Seriously, when you strip it down to it's essence, the movie's about a dude trying to score. No cool, badass, unnecessary gun fighting. The sex scenes are kind of weird, because essentially, Horus is raping the girl, and you got that creepy undertone going on. There's a whole bunch of subplots that really don't do anything for the story. It's a nutty little movie. Like I said, though, it looks great. Maybe if you turn down the volume, and play either some ambient or badass techno music, and enhance your mindset, it would be really cool. As it stands, I was more than a little disappointed. The preview made it look really cool, and it was not.

I'm sure people will tell me I just didn't get it, but I did get it. You can't deny the basic plot. THE GOD WANTS SOME ASS! Granted, he made a good choice, but still. A movie that looks like this, and has some great art design, should have a better story. Or at least something mind blowing, be it a world class mind fuck, like eXistenZ, or some goofy fun, like aforementioned Fifth Element. As it stands, I'm not a big fan.

That's it. Those are the DVDs I wound up watching this weekend. One I recommend, and one I recommend after some serious boozing. And a better soundtrack.

So until the next time I update the site.... ummm........ watch some movies. That's a lame tagline. I gotta think of something much cooler.

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