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Pre-Emptive Dukes of Hazzard Movie Review
Posted by:Good morning, my fellow Monkeyvanians. Today I greet you with the news your beloved king has been taken into custody by the... Oh sorry,
On the topic of movies, I would like to go over a few points about the upcoming Dukes of Hazzard movie. Of course, I have not yet seen this movie, but that never stopped me from reviewing movies before!
As a matter of fact, I am going to go see this movie, and I fear I may actually enjoy it. Remeber how you felt when they said that Stiller and Wilson were going to remake Starsky and Hutch. You thought, that's stupid, they do comedy and S & H is a cop show. But you liked it anyway, didn't you? You can admit it, no on will judge you here. At least not too harshly.
Let's face it the Dukes were a parody of themselves half the time anyway. The show had no intentions of being serious drama. The movie seems to have caught on to that vibe. Granted, the humour of Sean William Scott and Johnny Knoxville may be a bit more, shall we say, libidinous in this movie than the original intent of the show. Truth be told, I find both Scott and Knoxville to be surprisingly funny actors. They certainly could do no worse a parody of the Dukes as those two guys who claimed to be the Duke boys' cousins in the later TV series. (Tha was a dark time for all of us who survived.)
The addition of Burt Reynolds as Boss Hog? Oh... my... gosh! I love it. The master of all forms of acting, the supreme thespian, himself. I have a secret fetish for Burt Reynolds (not that kind of fetish... well, maybe that kind of fetish). He is a fun actor to watch oing comedy. He doesn't seem to have that air of pretention that he used to. I like a guy who can make fun of himself.
This brings me to the sad part of this review. Jessica Simpson. I admit, she is attractive. That seems to be why she was chosen. Despite delivering some funny lines with actual comedic result in the trailer, I fear the worst. She cannot act, people. She was on a "reality" TV show playing herself and it wasn't convincing!
Some of you may remember my pre-emptive review of Fantastic Four and might be thinking I have an anti-Jessica bias (Alba, Simpson, et al.). This is far from the truth, I assure you. I am pro-Jessica, why some of my best friends are Jessicas. I just am plagued with the question "Why are the dumbest Jessicas the most prominent of the species?" If anyone can remind me of some good Jessicas, please do.
Of course the movie will have gratuitous t and a. (Although some men would debate that it is not in fact gratuitous and, indeed, integral to the plot.) This is to be expected in any comedy these days, it would seem. I can take it or leave it. Despite being a man, I gain no particular satisfaction (or sassifaction, if you will) from watching a partially nude woman in a crowded theatre. Unless she's seated near me. There will also be an overabundance of sex jokes which will be delivered with overstated pointedness. Like a big neon sign saying "these are the jokes".
Mostly, what we all want to see in the new Dukes movie will be...
CAR STUNTS! Gravity-defying, physics-disobeying, car-folding-and-unfolding leaps over rivers and mysterious ramps! High speed chases and narrow escapes. (And Luke Duke using the old dynamite arrow trick!)
Like Fantastic Four, you will not need your brain when you see this movie. In fact, you may regret it if you do. Still I will go and enjoy it (or try) as the Dukes represent a mystical piece of my history. A memory to a time when every friday night, I would come home from my grandmother's place, my dad would make popcorn, and we would watch Dukes of Hazzard (then later years that became Knight Rider and Airwolf).
On the topic of movies, I would like to go over a few points about the upcoming Dukes of Hazzard movie. Of course, I have not yet seen this movie, but that never stopped me from reviewing movies before!
As a matter of fact, I am going to go see this movie, and I fear I may actually enjoy it. Remeber how you felt when they said that Stiller and Wilson were going to remake Starsky and Hutch. You thought, that's stupid, they do comedy and S & H is a cop show. But you liked it anyway, didn't you? You can admit it, no on will judge you here. At least not too harshly.
Let's face it the Dukes were a parody of themselves half the time anyway. The show had no intentions of being serious drama. The movie seems to have caught on to that vibe. Granted, the humour of Sean William Scott and Johnny Knoxville may be a bit more, shall we say, libidinous in this movie than the original intent of the show. Truth be told, I find both Scott and Knoxville to be surprisingly funny actors. They certainly could do no worse a parody of the Dukes as those two guys who claimed to be the Duke boys' cousins in the later TV series. (Tha was a dark time for all of us who survived.)
The addition of Burt Reynolds as Boss Hog? Oh... my... gosh! I love it. The master of all forms of acting, the supreme thespian, himself. I have a secret fetish for Burt Reynolds (not that kind of fetish... well, maybe that kind of fetish). He is a fun actor to watch oing comedy. He doesn't seem to have that air of pretention that he used to. I like a guy who can make fun of himself.
This brings me to the sad part of this review. Jessica Simpson. I admit, she is attractive. That seems to be why she was chosen. Despite delivering some funny lines with actual comedic result in the trailer, I fear the worst. She cannot act, people. She was on a "reality" TV show playing herself and it wasn't convincing!
Some of you may remember my pre-emptive review of Fantastic Four and might be thinking I have an anti-Jessica bias (Alba, Simpson, et al.). This is far from the truth, I assure you. I am pro-Jessica, why some of my best friends are Jessicas. I just am plagued with the question "Why are the dumbest Jessicas the most prominent of the species?" If anyone can remind me of some good Jessicas, please do.
Of course the movie will have gratuitous t and a. (Although some men would debate that it is not in fact gratuitous and, indeed, integral to the plot.) This is to be expected in any comedy these days, it would seem. I can take it or leave it. Despite being a man, I gain no particular satisfaction (or sassifaction, if you will) from watching a partially nude woman in a crowded theatre. Unless she's seated near me. There will also be an overabundance of sex jokes which will be delivered with overstated pointedness. Like a big neon sign saying "these are the jokes".
Mostly, what we all want to see in the new Dukes movie will be...
CAR STUNTS! Gravity-defying, physics-disobeying, car-folding-and-unfolding leaps over rivers and mysterious ramps! High speed chases and narrow escapes. (And Luke Duke using the old dynamite arrow trick!)
Like Fantastic Four, you will not need your brain when you see this movie. In fact, you may regret it if you do. Still I will go and enjoy it (or try) as the Dukes represent a mystical piece of my history. A memory to a time when every friday night, I would come home from my grandmother's place, my dad would make popcorn, and we would watch Dukes of Hazzard (then later years that became Knight Rider and Airwolf).
Review by King Monkey
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