X-Men Review

     Sadly, much of Bryan Singer’s superhero odyssey does not focus on the Canadian killer with adamantium in his bones. Taking off from the surprisingly sophisticated mythos of the original source material, "X-Men" envisions a near future where humans have made the next evolutionary step. Now, some of them have powers, and as to be expected from youngsters with newfound abilities, they struggle to control them.

     This is where Professor Charles Xavier comes in. As played by stage star Patrick Stewart, Xavier forms a school for these "gifted" youngsters, where he assumes a fatherly role and meets young children with new abilities frightened by their new world. In other words, Michael Jackson’s wet dream. Xavier’s mutants, however, face a threat from the American government. It seems that too many established names in Washington, particularly Senator Kelly (Bruce Davison), fear these mutants and want to have them separated from society as to not do harm to the populace.

     This is where things get a little hazy as far as character development, because there are so many other characters from the comics presented here as arbitrary space fillers. While Wolverine assimilates into Xavier’s school with a young girl by the name of Rogue (Anna Pacquin, in a role disappointingly failing to clear up the issue of superhero names in an attempted realistic setting), Xavier’s old friend and fellow mutant Erik Magnus (Ian McKellan) plans a war against humanity. 
Other plot threads are too messy. Dr. Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is trying to prevent legislation from passing while fighting off the affections of the hirsute Wolverine. Rogue is battling puberty as she makes googly eyes at both Wolverine and Bobby, a hotshot fellow teen at the school. Grey’s boyfriend Cyclops (James Marsden) meanwhile, unconvincingly leads the mutants into several questionably-plotted and staged battles, while the mysterious Storm (Halle Berry) is left using her massive powers for useless measures. It is almost comical how little Storm is needed here, as if characters only spoke to her when needing something: "Storm, go make some rain," "Storm, we need some wind," "Storm, go get me a danish."

     What is Marvelous in this film other than the performances of Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan is the seriousness which the subject matter is treated. This is not a candy coated superhero story like "Spider-Man," where the discovery of his powers leads to a goofy montage, or where he sums up his entire experience as being, "about a girl." In Wolverine’s first scene, he is Uncle Tom-ming it in a skuzzy bar, defeating bareknuckled opponents in a ring. However, when they question his appearance, there is a pig-headed anger directed towards his personage. Later asked if it hurts when his claws thrust from his knuckles in anger, Wolverine replies, "Everytime." "X-Men" is one of the first of these superhero films to state, "Hey, having super powers is a TOTAL BITCH." 
Still, there are way too many peripheral characters that have no effect on the film. Magnus, or Magneto, as he is referred to, has three characters by his side, Sabretooth, Toad and Mystique, all with distinctive abilities, who are given nothing to do aside from represent stock sidekicks. With the number of characters and lack of running time, it is also impossible to establish relationships and chemistry among both the characters and the cast. We’re pretty sure Jean Grey and Cyclops are together, but does anybody really speak to Storm?

     Add on to that a ludicrous plot of Magneto’s to alter the genetic structure of all humans and morph them into mutants, a ridiculous premise considering the point of his quarrel with Xavier and humanity is that he believes mutants are the superior species. By using a large, rather high tech contraption to do so, Magneto shows that he’s something of a Bond-level evil genius. Otherwise, how the hell would he have created such an instrument? Aside from a quick prologue featuring a young Magneto in a concentration camp during WWII (symbolism, people!), we know little of Magneto’s background. In other words, where the hell did this machine come from?

     Aside all that, "X-Men" is a very impressive debut outing for a cast of characters we’ll most likely be seeing in multiple sequels for years to come. While its serious tone is betrayed by some intentionally comic booky plot twists and the lack of established characteristics of its secondary characters, however, "X-Men" had the potential to be leagues better. 

Review by: Gabe Toro