Good Halloween Movie Double Features

With Halloween on the horizon, a lot of people might be planning a shindig of some sort to celebrate. Most will have costume parties, which is terrific, as they usually involve scantily clad females pretending to be something ordinary like a prison guard or dental hygienist, but really sexy. These parties will also most likely contain disturbing, horror-themed food-stuffs, and an increasingly gory display of body parts strewn across the premises like something out of a bad crime scene.

(I tell you, if I had money, I would invest in a Halloween store, as they seem to make mint and only have to work 3 months of the year).

There are also large groups of nerds out there (myself included) who enjoy subjecting their friends to horror movies they may have not yet seen, or seen with a group of people, which is the best way to experience most horror flicks. Especially the truly awful ones, provided your friends are witty and clever enough to make fun of the films the whole night through.

In the honor of great cinema programming, I have taken it upon myself to provide some wonderful double features of horror movies that you may use to entertain your guests, or attempt to disturb them for life.

So, get your decorations and gore up early, and set out your meticulously designed (and borderline psychotic) appetizer plates of horror-themed food ready, and prepare to dig in! Note, if you're running short on time, just put out regular food but give it terrifying names. This is a fun, cost-effective way to achieve your goals. Just attribute a spooky name to each food item, throw a few tarot cards around, and voila! Instant terror party!

(Interesting note: The double features are all films that were released in this decade. It just started that way, and while I always suggest watching older, classic films of the genre for a well-rounded cinematic experience, I also wanted to point out that there are films in this decade that are just as worthy as horror of yore).

My Halloween Double Feature: Drag Me To Hell and Trick 'R Treat.

The most fun horror films I've seen this year, they are both alternately hilarious and terrifying. Drag Me To Hell is pure Raimi gonzo filmmaking, and Trick R Treat is the Pulp Fiction of horror anthology, and the film that perfectly encapsulates the spirit of Halloween. Both will please fans and non-fans of the genre.

For genre done right: REC and The Descent

Two horror films that take familiar environments and make complete terror out of them. These movies genuinely freaked me out and got me to scream. Like a woman. (Albeit, a manly woman). Good for claustrophobes, if you want them to void their bowels on your couch.

For creeping out your guests: Session 9 and The Orphanage

Not all out horror, but more of the psychological variety. Ghosts and mind tricks abound, that will have you questioning what is real. These are more for the slow burn, to get under the skin of your viewers and generally freak them out on the walk back to their car from your party.

For the zombie fanatics: Land of the Dead and Dawn of the Dead (remake)

Watch Land of the Dead first, and watch how Romero sees his classic Dead series realized in our modern times. Then watch Zach Snyder's hyper-violent remake and marvel at how much ass it kicks, and how much more respect it would've received if it wasn't named Dawn of the Dead. Regardless, good zombie killing flicks.

(Next year, I recommend the zombie-laugher double feature of Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland, but since that won't be available until next year, we shall move along).

For people who aren't nostalgic: Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday The 13th

If you were born in the late 80s, you have no nostalgia for old horror flicks. And with the myriad of horror remakes deluging our multiplexes, if you're going to insist on watching these remakes, you may as well watch the most polished, if still stupid and unnecessary, of the bunch. If you are nostalgic, have fun comparing and contrasting these to their originals, and make a drinking game of it!

For the younger set/scared girlfriends: Coraline and Monster House

If you're a cool parent, you want to scare your children. Even if mildly, as it adds fun to child-rearing! Unless you're the family that sat in front of me, though, you're not gonna want to make your kids watch Hostel 2. So check out these creepy little movies that are fun, but spooky enough to warrant the night light for a few days. Also good for wimpy boy/girlfriends who don't like horror movies.

For good sci-fi horror craptacular fun: John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars and Doom

Ahh, yes. A perfect double bill of tough guys and girls on the red planet. Destroying things. Marvel at the narrative prowess on display in Ghosts of Mars (a film which ten people, including myself, believe is actually any good). And follow it up with The Rock in the best video game adaptation of our times. But make no mistake, these movies are to be enjoyed, not to be good.

For laughs and gore: Slither and Black Sheep

Slither is a wonderfully hilarious and gross movie about alien worms that take over a small town and turns them into zombies. Black Sheep is a Peter Jackson-esque tale of genetically mutated sheep attacking a ranch in New Zealand. Both provide equal amounts of laughs and disgust.

For the indie film horror lover: The Signal and 28 Days Later

I'm particularly proud of this pairing. both films delve into the nature of man at it's most primal, and what happens to the society that crumbles as a result, and the remaining humanity that needs to prevail. Both are told rather unconventionally, and are sure to appease the discriminating film snobs who insist on seeing films that nobody else sees.

For the folks who don't watch horror movies: An Inconvenient Truth and Synechdoche, NY

The two most frightening movies I've seen this decade that weren't horror movies will be great to appease the hippies and indie snobs in your group. One deals with the decay of the planet, the other the decay of the human body, amongst other things. If the "politics" of Inconvenient Truth are too controversial (although it's more a moral issue than political), substitute Requiem For a Dream, which teaches us that if you do heroin you'll wind up being forced to have sex in front of a group of cheering men. Or your arm gets cut off.

For people who want to fuck up their guests for life and/or prevent being invited to future gatherings with friends: Inside and Martyrs.

Feel like you've seen everything? That nothing is scary anymore? That Hollywood only thinks of their bottom line and dollar bills over anything truly terrifying? Alternately, do you have a group of friends who you wouldn't mind not coming over to your house anymore? Show them this bloody, disturbing, disgusting and truly horrifying double feature, and you never have to set out plates of "Scary Carrots" again. Be warned, these movies won't just scare you. They will fuck you up for life.

Those are my suggestions. What do you think? What other double features would be fun this All Hallow's Eve?