He-Man, Barbies, Sweet Valley Twins, TheDudes Weekend Movie News Roundup

Welcome to your weekend round up of movie news, where I sweep up the crumbs of what we missed during the week, and if it's something I think is a stupid idea, I will say so in a humorous and most likely sarcastic fashion. As I like to say, half the news, twice the snark! (That might need working on...)

So what happened this week?

Variety is reporting that Dimension films is returning to what made them money: sequels! Neve Campbell is set to return to Scream 4. Wes Craven has been approached to direct, but nothing firm yet. However, to keep with the Meta-theme of the series, they should let Charlie Kaufman direct. Other sequels are planned for Hellraiser, Scanners, and another Spy Kids. And there's a good chance they'll all be in 3D!

Sherlock Holmes is apparently so awesome without it having been shown at all, that a sequel has been agreed upon, and they've already hired Brad Pitt! Well, maybe not, but there's a lot of speculation, and it would make for decent flick.

This week in toy news brings us news that a Barbie movie is in the works! Bonus points if they go meta, and hire plastic actresses to star. Additionally, Masters of the Universe has moved homes from Warner Bros. to Sony, losing most of the producers and writers previously attached. No confirmation if ultimate He Man Dolph Lundgren will don the loin cloth and moon boots a second time, but we all know he should.

Everyone's favorite Jennifer's Body writer (and my eternal crush) Diablo Cody has been assigned the task of translating the Sweet Valley High series of books into a film, then hopefully a series of films. With luck, we'll get Megan Fox playing split screen versions of herself for twice the Megan Fox fun. No word yet on if this will be a modern updating, or if we get to hear new phrases based on 80's nostalgia. Honest Atari!

David Cronenberg, not content with just a film version and a literal operatic rebirth (which was the strangest 3 and a half hours of opera I have ever witnessed), has decided to ad on to his growing Brundlefly legacy with a remake, according to the Hollywood Reporter. There's a lot right about this, and a lot wrong. 

I demand to know who among you brought a Ghost Rider sequel upon us? Seriously, I know it was one of you, if not a whole group. It may have started as a joke, and you know what, haha it's funny, but it's not that funny. Why are they going to subject us to another one? There's also news of a Daredevil reboot, which is less distressing, as there is some potential there. But seriously, Marvel, with all that Disney dough you should get Pixar behind a Secret Wars movie that'll melt our faces off twice.

In news certain to disappoint 83 people, Keanu Reeves is reporting to MTV that his Cowboy Bebop live action movie he's been developing is delayed a little bit. Apparently the current script is "way too awesome" and "way too expensive" which leads me to believe that they are going to have action sequences on actual dinosaurs that they are genetically cloning. (I have no idea what Cowboy Bebop is about).

MTV also got the hot scoop from Hollywood heartthrob Michael Caine, in which he denied knowing anything at all about a third Nolan-helmed Batman picture, but that without a doubt, Johnny Depp will not be aboard. There never was a Batman movie at all. Sleep....

The casting on the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg movie "The Other Guys" just got more awesome with the introduction of Dwayne "Stop Calling Me The Rock" Johnson and Samuel L "The L is for Motherfuckin" Jackson. Apparently they play The Guys. Also, Steve "Steve" Coogan has signed on as the villain.

Finally, the casting gods have shone their light upon us, and bestowed to us The Next Three Days, the next film from Paul Haggis that now promises appearances from Brian Dennehy AND The RZA! It's already the greatest movie of next year that isn't called The Expendables.

That's the most interesting of things. I'm sure I missed something of importance. But then again importance is relative. Here's hoping next week brings us crazier ideas from those wacky folks in Hollywoodland!