Ten Movie Sequels They Seriously Should be Making

Posted by: TheDude

Every year, Hollywood thinks they understand what we, the moviegoing public wants and desires. And that's why we have celluloid garbage like Terminator Salvation and Transformers 2: Stupid Piece of Shit. But we continue to hand our hard earned dollars forth, and these continue to make money. And yet, every talkback forum you go to whenever it's announced that Ridley Scott has signed on for an Alien PREQUEL that Hollywood is making the wrong films.

And so I present a list of movies that deserved sequels that we will never get to see, but can imagine how awesome they would be if they actually existed. I've kept the list fairly current, so as not to get into "reboot/remake" territory. I've also (mostly) eliminated movies that have sequels speculated (Sin City, I'm looking in your direction) or discussed recently. This is why there is no Riddick discussion, as Twohy recently went on to say he and Diesel are planning on one more chapter in the Chronicles of Riddick. And there is no Evil Dead 4, because we ostensibly got that this summer with Drag Me To Hell.

I'm also attempting to be somewhat serious, which is why you will hear no clamoring for Space Chimps 2. (Although, I also heard that was in development). And it seems there's a ridiculous amount of movies that begin with "S".

Without further ado:

SERENITY: The fanbase for the Joss Whedon space opera has been growing since 2002, when Firefly was prematurely yanked off the airwaves. Serenity provided a nice closure for fans, but we want more. There are more mysteries in that universe that deserve exploration. Hopes still remain high that we'll see Captain Mal and his crew of rebels ride again, but reality is a cruel mistress.

THE THING / BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA / GHOSTS OF MARS: Basically any John Carpenter movie deserves a sequel. These three are the ones that are easiest. There were talks about a Thing sequel (or reboot), and it's the one that could be made without much involvement, without feeling like a cash-in or retread. Big Trouble could only work if Jack Burton himself were to return, and lord knows what crazy adventures he could find himself in next. And Ghosts of Mars just kicks ass. I don't care if I'm one of 7 people who believes it.

ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI: To be fair, Big Trouble in Little China was allegedly the sequel to Buckaroo Banzai, but it obviously wasn't. Buckaroo Banzai and his Hong Kong Cavaliers. They even set us up for a sequel at the end of the film, but it never came to fruition. There's enough of a cult for this film that would warrant another insane adventure that cleverly blends sci-fi, comedy, serial adventures, and good old fashioned Rock and Roll!

SAHARA: Sadly, there was a high profile case where Clive Cussler pretty much put the kibosh on any future adventures with Dirk Pitt, which is understandable as the film is quite derided in the public eye. That doesn't mean I'm not still dreaming of those adventures, though. Especially with Matthew McConaughey, everyone's favorite beef spokesman, and Steve Zahn matching their chemistry again, the movie would be a blast. Chalk this one up to greed. And a lack of profit, but that's why none of these really have sequels to begin with.

DOOM: There were several games made, and there are plenty of stories to be told about aliens/demons from hell on Mars, and one lone man's attempts to save the world one chainsaw swipe at a time. Hell, they could make the entire movie in first person shooter format, like those amazing 5 minutes in the original film (Love it or hate it, you can't deny how badass that sequence was). Maybe this time, we could actually travel to hell like the game, instead of making up some nonsense about genetic advancement of martian races.

TEAM AMERICA: This one is sort of a no-brainer. In fact, they could just take the plot of that new G.I. Joe movie and reenact it with puppets, and that could be it. It's pretty simple, and a sad fact that they could easily take any number of big budget blockbuster, cast it with puppets, and create something genius. Besides, I really need to hear "America, Fuck Yeah!" blasted in 6 channel Dolby surround.

SNAKES ON A PLANE: Hear me out on this one, because I have the perfect idea for it. More snakes, multiple planes. Sam Jackson has to jump between these planes (along with a kickboxer). It can't be any dumber than the actual movie, and this way they could actually make it rated R from the beginning, so you don't have awkward cutaways and poor ADR swearing. Although, Jackson would have to think of something to top the Motherfuckin snakes on the plane line.

SKY CAPTAIN: This one always felt tailor made for sequels. You have a great hero, Sky Captain, a fantastic visual palate, and a plethora of ideas of where his adventures could take him. (The man fought robots, visited Shangri-La, AND implied that he boned Angelina Jolie, how can he NOT be a hero?!?) Much like Buckaroo Banzai, but without the overachieving. I'm still waiting, as I feel Sky Captain could have some wicked amazing battles with UFOs, and be much more successful at it than his predecessor Indiana Jones.

SLITHER: Every year there are many attempts to find out what sort of horror the public wants. And usually it involves insane amounts of torture or Japanese girls with long hair. Sadly, the monster flick hasn't made its way into the zeitgeist . And Slither fell along the wayside, despite being hilarious and clever, in addition to disgusting. But I think the world needs another tale of alien slugs that take over humans and force them to eat meat. Provided you get the same team to make the film. Half of this movie's heavy lifting was done by the actors doing such a great job. Slither 2 should've slid into theaters and knocked the kids off their texting-during-the-movie asses.

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY : The tender tale of the Dashwood daughters, as they pursue love and a place to live after their father's fortune... Alright, I'm kidding. This movie's perfect. Let's have a sequel to Shoot Em Up, instead. That movie just kicked some ass, and I could watch endless films based on that Clive Owen character. Perhaps he could teach some people a lesson about texting in darkened theaters.


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