Horror DVD Review: Jack Frost

What can I tell you about Jack Frost? Sit back, get your comfy spot on the couch, and listen to my tale of B-movie bliss and butt numbing horror...

The movie starts off with an uncle telling his niece a rather evil tale about a serial killer named Jack Frost (didn't your relatives delight in scaring you?). He goes on about how he killed, and killed and killed some more, eventually being caught by the sheriff of Snowmonton (this is the snowman captial of the world folks!) by fluke.

Jack sends hate letters to Sam (the sheriff and "hero" of the film) with threats of killing off his family or friends. Naturally this unerves our hero. Jack is sentenced to be executed and Sam will finally be able to relax and not worry about his families lives... or so he thought.

On the way to being transported to his execution destination, the prison truck happens to get into an accident with another truck. Jack is freed in the resulting comical crash. Unfortunatly, the truck they hit was carrying an "acid solution" and the fire from the accident causes the chemical truck to unload it's cargo... all over Jack. After some somewhat decent mutilation/disitegration special effects, Jack is reduced to blood. But the blood has other plans, as it fuses with the snow and before we know it, there's a moving mass of snow on the ground. Snow... pretty damn scary so far eh?

He was transformed into a walking, talking, killing snowman (built by the Sheriff's son I might add). From then on we have a few amusing deaths (a bathtub "missing carrot" scene in particular), not nearly enough gore, and more comedy than I think was intended. There are a lot of puns and one liners thrown out of Jacks mouth, similar to watching anything with Bruce Campbell.

Ok, I told myself I wouldn't touch on the tub scene, but I do believe it is one of those scenes you remember forever. Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie) plays one of the horny teenagers in the town. For whatever reason, she and her playtoy sneak into the Sheriff's house while everyone is at the town meeting/lockdown because of the killings. They do the usual strip down tease in the kitchen and then she disapears to leave the good wholesome lad to get a fire going and to find some wine. We all knew it was coming... armed with an ice pick, he has to defend himself against Jack Frost. Jack makes short work of him by impaling him with iceicles. I kind of enjoyed that part. Meanwhile, our long john wearing horny teen tease girl thing is upstairs blowdrying her hair. She walks into the bathroom (why in the hell wasn't the hair dryer in their inthe first place?) to see a tub full of water, which she assumes was filled by the guy. Of course, it's a melted Jack Frost who lets her get in and before we know it, a carrot pops up in the water (thought of a good use for it yet?). The water then freezes over and Jack comes to full glory as he begins ramming her into the wall. All this time I keep wondering just where in the hell his carrot is. She eventually dies from head trauma I am assuming, but you never really care because yer just looking for that carrot the whole damn time! What's my point to this? I dunno, but it was a very memorable scene. Hey, it's my review dammit!!

There are a lot of attempts to kill Jack in the movie, some of which are just hilarious (hairdryers RULE!). In the end, yes, they finally do figure out a way to shut the talking pile of snow up, and it's really quite a good way to bring the movie to an end. How do you keep things from freezing in your car in the winter? You got it, Anti-freeze. One of the most annoying characters in the movie comes through at the end with a truck bed full of the wonderful snowman killing liquid. The Sheriff has one last stand with Jack and being the only one with a decent head on his shoulders, takes the mound of snow for a swim. They bottle up the liquid and bury it underground. Personally, I would have made the Sheriff's son drink it (if you watch the movie you'll know why).

The characters in the movie are developed well, but the actors are very stiff. It kind of makes for a less enjoyable movie and makes it hard bond with them. I will however say that Sam the Sheriff (Christopher Allport) was played very well. I did enjoy the scenes where he was in, but most of the others I was more than happy to see killed. They ranged from such bad acting that you had to tell yourself, it IS a B-Movie, to getting up to go for a leak without bothering to pause the movie. I won't even touch on the FBI agent or the scientist responsible for the acid solution that made Jack into a murderous snowman. They were very bad actors. I really believe that is where the film lost a lot to me. Given a different cast, I'm sure I wouldn't have been so hard on it as the director obviously had good vision for them.

Ok, now that I have you all sure that you don't really want to see this movie, let me touch on a few high points (ok, the tub death is a definite reason to see this one). The directors use of the camera was fantastic. The story, while not very convincing was definitly superber B-Class script. There's enough in this movie to jusity seeing it. Be it for "stupid movie nights", drinking games, or just for a good laugh.

You can't go taking this movie seriously. You have to be in the frame of mind that it was meant to be this bad. But when is bad really bad? I love B-Movies, I love having to groan to sit through something, and I love bitching about a movie. That usually means its a movie I'll remember, and isn't that what any director really wants?

I'm giving this movie a strong 6/10 as it's a prime cut of cheese, and I adore movies that make me lurch!