Zombie Planet Review by Jordan

Now I don’t claim to be an expert when it comes to movies by any means.  I do, however, expect 3 main things when I watch a movie: character development, believable acting and good writing.  To me these 3 things can really make or break a movie (and I’m not just talking about zombie movies, I mean movies in general).  Sure special effects are nice, cinematography does make a difference and setting does play an important role as well…but if you don’t have good writing, good character development or good acting…well, you don’t have much of a movie.

Zombie Planet, as much as I wanted to love it, was lacking in these three key areas.  Because of this it lacks much of what could have made it a great film.  So, with that being said, lets explore the film a little more closely.

Zombie Planet is essentially the story of the last remnants of human society.  After most of mankind is wiped out due to a failed drug DTHD (Dopatrihydrozine), which was supposed to cure cravings for ‘carbs’, most people live off the scraps of the old world.  Most of the people live in small groups and are referred to as ‘Dregs’.  There are others, however, who are referred to as the ‘Upper Class’ and are the cronies of local Warlords.  The main Warlord in our story is Adam who, to his credit, is a particularly mean bad guy with a slight sadistic streak.  Finally there are those who have been lucky enough to live in giant walled up cities.  However, only those with enough money are allowed entry.

Enter Kane, a lone stranger who begins the movie by walking through the zombified city at night.  His proceeds to kick some zombie ass and is let into a stronghold by the leader of a small band of ‘Dregs’ (I think his name was Nathan, but I honestly can’t remember).  Initially we have some strife between Kane and one of the ‘Dregs’, Frank.  Frank doesn’t like Kane right off the bat for some reason, I couldn’t tell you why.

Anyways Kane is slowly introduced to this band of ragtag people and is accepted and welcomed, although Kane himself is somewhat hesitant at first.  As the movie progresses Kane is introduced to Adam and even more strife is discovered.  Will Kane destroy Adam and help his new ‘Dreg’ friends to enter the walled-up city?  Or will he allow himself to join Adams group of psychopaths and revel in a life of debauchery and murder?  Well, you’ll have to watch the rest of the movie to find out.

…That is…if you can make it past the first half-hour.  I found it really difficult to sit through the movie because the dialogue was extremely terrible.  It wasn’t so much the writing as it was the people speaking the lines.  I don’t know how other people will view this film, but to me it just seemed like everything that EVERYONE said was forced.  There was little to no emotion in most everyone’s lines and that just cannot be.  You can’t convince the people watching the film that these people really are scared or horrified to live in this zombie filled world if they talk like robots.

Character development is another thing that was lacking for me.  I never once had any attachment to the characters at all.  I could really care less if they all got horribly murdered or if they all made it to the ‘safe-zone’.  There was no attachment whatsoever.  I don’t know if that ties in to the forced dialogue or if it was just the fact that the characters were all clichés or what exactly.  By clichés I mean you’ve got the token hero, token bad guy, token strong leader of rebel group, token love interest of hero, ad nauseam.

Finally I just did not like the zombies…at all.  First of all they talked and that, for me (a zombie purist) is an immediate turn off.  But I can forgive talking zombies…I do love Return of the Living Dead and it has talking zombies.  Their makeup was OK although they all looked more like a mix between humans and those dogs with lots of folds in their faces (I think their called Shar-peis?).  One thing that they did that I really didn’t like was they didn’t act like zombies.  They were more like people with a severe skin problem and super strength.  I mean there is one scene where Kane and this zombie are in fisticuffs and they fight like they are professional boxers.  Sorry, but last time I watched Dawn of the Dead I never saw any zombies get into any boxing matches with Peter.  They just take the blows and keep coming…there is no fighting back or taunting from the zombies.

Ok…now I really didn’t want to lambaste this movie so I apologize to the directors.  They really did have great ambitions and I’ll give them credit for that.  The story was somewhat intriguing and you can really see that they tried to give it quite a few sub-plots with underlying corruption, betrayal, love and loss.  It just wasn’t well executed and the direction was lacking I felt.  I think with some more polish and some better production values this film could really be a great addition to the zombie genre. 

Should you see Zombie Planet?  I would say (hesitantly) yes, for an indie zombie flick it is decent, but don’t expect anything more from it.  This movie will be loved by only a select few…for all the rest it’s good for a weekend rental and then only for a few laughs.