Jennifer Westfeldt Interview, Ira & Abby

MoviesOnline sat down recently with Jennifer Westfeldt at the Los Angeles press day to talk about her new film, “Ira & Abby,” written by and starring Westfeldt and directed by Robert Cary. The film is a sweet, hilarious and slightly subversive romantic comedy that examines the issues of marriage, monogamy and whether “I do” is the only path to life-long love and happiness.

Jennifer Westfeldt is best known for co-writing, co-producing, and playing the title role in the 2002 indie hit “Kissing Jessica Stein.” In 2003, she made her Broadway debut in the critical and commercial hit “Wonderful Town,” for which she received a 2004 Tony nomination, as well as a Drama League Award and a Theater World Award for Outstanding Broadway Debut. Her television credits include “Numbers,” “Judging Amy,” “Hack, Snoops,” “Two Guys, A Girl and A Pizza Place,” “Holding the Baby,” and many pilots. She is currently starring in ABC’s “Notes from the Underbelly,” returning this fall for a second season.

With “Ira & Abby,” Westfeldt returns to the comic travails of sex, love and misunderstanding as she delves into the dizzying whirlwind of family and relationships. “Ira & Abby” follows Ira (Chris Messina) whose commitment-phobia knows no bounds. Unable to stay in a relationship, finish his dissertation or even order lunch, Ira is paralyzed by indecision. Then along comes Abby (Westfeldt), a woman who knows what she wants and gets it. And she wants Ira. Amidst their parents’ personal dramas and visits to the analyst, Ira and Abby soon discover that doing what is expected of you isn’t always the best way to happiness.

Like “Kissing Jessica Stein,” which explored the arenas of sexual openness and emotional risks, Westfeldt brings her personal voice to “Ira & Abby” in a comic consideration of what happens if you dare to make your own choices. “Ira & Abby” features a star studded ensemble cast including Jennifer Westfeldt, Chris Messina, Judith Light, Jason Alexander, Frances Conroy, Darrell Hammond, Robert Klein, Chris Parnell and Fred Willard.

Westfeldt’s talent with romantic comedy is that she takes the standard of idealized love, the perfect couple that is made for each other, and turns it on its ear. Here’s what the talented actress and writer had to tell us about her new film:

Q: How much of this is autobiographical? Is any of this based on your real life?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Well, there are some influences, certainly, that are based on my life. My mom and my stepdad are both therapists. [laughs] So I kind of grew up in that world a little bit. And actually, the job that Abby has in the film was my actual job in New York, when I was first in New York and a struggling actress. I actually had that job. I was in that very gym that we actually shot at, and I was the world's worst sales consultant, and it's just this hilarious gym. I call it "The Cheers Bar," because everyone there is not working out. All the machines are constantly breaking, so people would come in and we'd just have long chats, and I would say, "It's really not worth the money, you should just come in when I'm here, I'll give you some guest passes, or you can get a job at the front desk once a week and get a free membership." So it was funny to return to that spot. But no, the rest of it's fiction, although there are certainly themes in it that have some significance for me. I was a terrible salesperson. The worst they ever had. And it just didn't occur to me that I wasn't going to make any money if I didn't sell the memberships. I didn't care. Like we'd be ordering pizza and having friends come by. [laughs] It was more like a salon than a job. [laughs]

Q: Can you talk about the genesis of the project and what attracted you to it?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Sure. Well, you know, I'm quite a reluctant writer. I'm not someone who set out to be a writer or really wanted to be. And my first film kind of came together pretty organically. It was just a fun evening of vignettes that we were going to do, and it turned into this play that turned into the film. It never was "I'm going to be a screenwriter!" And so after Jessica Stein, Brad Zions, who produced both this film and that film, said, "So what are you going to do next? What's your next film?" And I was like, "I will never do this again." [laughs] I just was so exhausted. It took five years and I think we made $1500. [laughs] It was just such an overwhelming process, and if you had known at the beginning just how much was involved for the thousands of hours, it's like having a child, it feels like. [laughs] And I just didn't think it would ever happen again. And yet he was dogged and kept saying, "What's your next idea? What's your next script?" And basically to quote Annie Hall, "I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say." And so I just put him off.

And then an idea, I guess, just crept in. The year that I wrote this, my boyfriend and I went to nine weddings. [laughs] And you know, all of them, we were traveling to exotic places and spending a ton of cash. I always cry at weddings, they're beautiful, and I'm always moved. And everyone shows up and it's always incredibly lovely, and at the same time, we had four of our closest friends getting a divorce at like 28 and 29, which is depressing. [laughs] And we're both children of divorce, and there's just been a lot of divorce in my life and in the lives of most of my close people. And I just tuned out during like Wedding #8, or whatever, of the year. And listening to these vows, "till death do us part" and "forsaking all others" and what not, and being aware that it was just entirely a coin toss based on the statistics, based on everything we were seeing in our lives, that everyone is so moved and so sort of idealistic in this moment, and that half of these marriages will end in divorce. I mean, that's the statistic.

So I just spaced out during the ceremony and imagined a couple that got married and divorced several times where their vows actually degenerated each time into promises that could be kept rather than these pie in the sky things that we're obviously not succeeding at by and large. And that was the initial idea of the story, and obviously it grew and evolved from there. But I guess it was that. It was the vows and this notion that in any other business, if it was an investment and you said, "Well, half the time, you're going to lose all of your money," no one would invest in a business like that. [laughs] They just wouldn't. And here we are with this institution, and it really hasn't shifted much as far as I can tell. I think it has the same vows, same idealism, same everything that it always has. And I just wonder if there isn't a paradigm that should shift a little or grow and change a little with our changing times, you know?

Q: Were you happy to relinquish your script to a director this time, as opposed to having creative input on every aspect of Jessica Stein?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Well, I was involved with everything. Yeah, I was a producer on it, I raised the money, I had a say in every decision. And so it was similar to Jessica Stein in that it was a real collaboration with the director. And that was very understood that the director was going to come in and join us and collaborate and add his vision and his visual everything, and his interpretations. But I didn't feel X'ed out of the process in any way. I felt like on both films, we were lucky to gather talented people and be greater than the sum of our parts, you know? And I think that for me, that's the ideal in film, is to just bring together all sorts of talented, interesting people who have great ideas and find your way together. That's my ethic about filmmaking. [laughs] I've only made two films, but...

Q: Was it love at first sight for you and John, as it was with Ira and Abby?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Kind of. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's so funny. We had our first kiss in this hotel. We always come here for our anniversary. But yes, we actually met through a friend in LA, and then we were actually friends for about 9 months. But there was always a...You know, we both traced it back to that, but it wasn't as… And certainly we've been together nine and a half years. [laughs] We're not married, nor did we get married right away.

Q: Do you think it is better to marry someone you know or is it better to jump right into it?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Well, I don't have all the answers. I've been a serial monogamist since I was 11, but I guess one part of the film I was interested in exploring is that generally in a romantic comedy I think you see people meet cute and then there is a whole courtship and a thing and then they end up together and getting married in the end. I was interested in starting at the end in a way or the beginning being the end.

I do think that people are delaying marriage more and more in our generation and our times, and I think people live together and are together much longer and know each other pretty well. They are in therapy together and all sorts of things happen before people get married and maybe some of that is not good. Maybe some of us are over correcting. If you are having the most romantic times of your relationship several years or many years before you marry, I don't know if that's to the good. On some level, it is interesting to think if the very best times happen first and then you settle into how you are going to live and grow together and have a relationship, what would that be like if those times were when you were married? I don't know the answer and obviously this was an impulsive marriage in the film that doesn't work out that well.

Abby is a pretty, loony impulsive person. But I guess, not unlike my first film, I'm always interested in a kernel of the fantastical of something where somebody steps out of their comfort zone and does something completely unlike them that you wouldn't necessarily do in life and then trying to treat that fantastical premise in a truthful way after that. I think a straight woman answering an ad from a gay woman is not something many people would do in their lives necessarily, and similarly, asking someone to marry you after just a day, it’s out there a little.

I hope that with both films that kernel of fantasy or whatever is then treated honestly. You know what I mean? I'm always wondering in life if we are so entrenched in our patterns and the way we do everything, we have sort of a "This is who I am and this is how I do things.” If any of us ever did do something completely out of character and completely crazy and impulsive and then stuck with it, what would happen? That's part of what interests me in the stories I've told so far.

Q: This movie is also critical of the paradigm of the therapist solving any problems.

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: I know my mom and my step dad are not looking forward to this being released in theaters...I hope with good fun. Obviously I think therapy is incredibly important for many people in many scenarios, but I guess what I'm poking fun at more is the notion of therapy as brushing your teeth everyday. I think a lot of people get into this rhythm of go to the gym, go to the therapist. You know there is this idea that it is just something you do everyday or every week or whatever and I guess that part of it doesn't really make sense to me.

On some level it feels like such a luxury anyway that anyone who has the money and time to just constantly talk about themselves to a stranger and try to figure it out on a deeper level, it feels like it is for the rich and the privileged first of all. But it also just feels like to me, at least in my life I think therapy should mostly be there for helping us get through crises that are specific and nameable and getting to the next place with something and not something that is as natural as breathing and constant in your life. I don't know. It seems like something is missing in your life and in your relationships if that's the constant as opposed to the exception.

Q: You have a lot of great cameos in this film. How much of that was writing for these comedic veterans as opposed to just lucking out and getting them?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: I think it was more the latter, although certainly when certain actors sign on, you try to add some lines or moments here or there to highlight who's embodying it. We got really, really lucky and we just had the most wonderful people and you know when you are making a small indie, it’s certainly not for the glamour of it. They all came to it with a lot of love for the project. You are asking Fred Willard and Judith Light and Frances Conroy and Jason Alexander to have no trailers and to get changed in a bathroom. It is very bare bones so everyone involved was really excited to be there which was nice and we got really lucky.

Q: Can you tell us about the improv process and how much you stuck to the script or didn't?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Yeah, I would say there was very little improv in this film. There was a little with Chris on the couch in the beginning, but other than that, not much -- the odd line here or there. We just didn't have time or money to do a ton of takes. Do you know what I mean? And some of the script is really rhythmic so it didn't lend itself to improv as much as other things that I've done. For example, with the big therapy scene at the end, we all rehearsed that that whole morning because we only had one day and one location and it was like 10 pages long so it just had to be within an inch of its life. There wasn't any room for improv.

Q: Are you a romantic person?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: I think I am. You maybe can't tell that from this film, but I am a romantic in a lot of ways. You know what I mean and I think that part of this film obviously could be seen as cynical or romantic. I hope it ends up being still romantic even if it's got some darker comments.

Q: Do you think the couple from Notes from the Underbelly could learn something from Ira and Abby?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: That's an interesting question. I guess that's why this is an independent film and that show is on network television [laughs]. I certainly don't have a network sensibility in my world or my writing or anything. I'm probably a little quirkier or more off than some of the things I get cast as. I guess I just in general feel like with this film I was hoping to get a conversation started even though it is a comedy and it’s light and it’s fun.

I do not quite understand why marriage and whether it’s working or how to address our statistics why that isn't a topic really of conversation. It is not like "Oh, now 70 percent of marriages work." It is always about 50/50 and it has been that way for a really long time and yet when I was interviewing people when I was writing this film, people who were married the second time, third time I would always say "So, that must have been so interesting for you to go back and do it again. Were your vows totally different? Was the way you approached it different?" and it was "No, it was pretty much the same." [laughs]. No trace of irony in saying 'til death do us part’ and ‘forsaking all others’ on the second marriage.

I guess I'm interested in how words don't mean very much to people it seems to me and I'm not sure why that is. Like I don't really know why. What's beautiful about a wedding and the whole notion of it to me is sort of in front of the people in your life that you love the most and the community of people who support this match saying all these incredible things and declaring things. But if it fails half the time, then I just don't know what...it is kind of a lie, you know half the time it's a lie. So then they do it again and say the same thing that wasn't true before.

Q: Isn't there a reason why it is called Holy Matrimony? Because these are pretty non-religious people. They don't have any God-centered marriage to their life. Isn't marriage supposed to be a religious commitment?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: I don't know that it has to be. I guess I feel like it is man made in a lot of ways, you know what I mean? The notion of wanting to share a life with someone and committing to someone and deciding to do that. At the end of this movie the younger couple decides that their most truthful way of being together is to choose each other everyday and that's the most honest way to live for them. I guess I wonder if there isn’t a way that this institution could shift and evolve to not be unromantic, but to be more successful and truthful.

Q: After having made this film, do you find that you are now more afraid of marriage yourself?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: I don't know. It is funny because I've been thinking so much about it lately because our 10 year anniversary is coming up. You know it is crazy. I just feel when and if we marry that it would have to be really non-traditional and something very specific to us and who we are and not have any rote vows. Obviously this society is set up to support married people and that's a bummer. It's a bummer that people who live together or gay unions aren't supported the way a traditional marriage is financially and the way you are perceived, all that. It is a bummer. That is just sort of the way of things in our world so I understand why people embrace it. There are a lot of reasons for it. I mean everything from when something terrible happens being the first person to be called, to taxes, to whatever. But I just wish that weddings and the marriage ceremony and all of it could be more individual and more specific to the two people that are involved with it and whatever bond and promise and union they want to make and can make. I just wonder if it did change a little, if the statistics would be better. I don't know.

Q: You mentioned being a veteran of attending weddings. Are you the type who gets the gift immediately or are you the one who gets stuck with the crappy gift on their registry?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: You know with all the really close people, you usually do the gifts quickly, but there are always two or three where you are like "Oh wait, did we ever? Oh no, what are we going to do?" Usually we've just been going off registry recently because it feels terrible to be like "I can get you six plates!" I don't know. I hate it. It also feels totally impersonal. You know what I mean? I get the notion that everyone comes together and you get a dish and a thing and then you have a set of dishes, but it just feels like maybe if there was a different way to do it where you could actually present the dishes to the people... It just feels terrible to get a big box with a cup and a saucer, I don't know. We go off the registry. And sometimes, yes, we've waited until the end of the year. Maybe that's good because all the hoopla has died down and then they get a gift again. I don't know.

Q: Now that you've been with your boyfriend for 10 years, does your family constantly ask you when you are getting married?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Oh yeah, constantly. No, we've always had that pressure, but we live together and we have a dog and a house. I mean we are a marriage. You know what I mean? It is just whether or not it would ruin it. We have such a great thing right now that it’s better than most of the people in our lives who are sort of worried that, you know, you don't want to mess up a good thing. And at the same time I feel like I've seen so many weddings where it just becomes all about other people and stress and materialism and spending too much money and inviting people that you don't even like and have nothing to do with you because this one will be offended or that one will get upset. That I want no part of. We want no part of it. If we do decide to ever get married, it would have to be our own thing.

Q: Far, far away.

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Yeah, maybe. Yeah, that's the good thing about a destination wedding. Only the core people will show up in Greece or wherever [laughs].

Q: Will you show up on Mad Men next season?

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: Oh I don't know I think we'll let Johnny do that. It is so good, isn't it?

Q: It is an awesome show.

JENNIFER WESTFELDT: It is so amazing, I know. We’re really overwhelmed. It’s a thrill.

“Ira & Abby” opens in theaters on September 14^th.