Zombie Doom Movie Review by Jordan

Anyways, what better time to watch some movies than when you are hung over and can’t do anything else?  With that in mind I decided to finally watch Zombie Doom, which is a movie I bought at the Festival of Fear.  Some may remember me talking about this movie, as it was the one I purchased from an extremely rude woman who ignored me for probably 5 minutes before Michael said something to catch her attention.

Editors Note by Michael: What happened was the woman was working the booth and a couple other guys at the booth were discussing some sort of "deal" with her. She was so distracted that everyone standing waiting to ask questions or buy a movie got ignored. I find it funny that Jordan who is running a zombie news site, wanted to BUY a movie, not score a free copy and plug their film on the site, and I guess she figured he was just a fan and not worthy of her time. I got her attention by saying "Jordan dont waste your time here, lets go talk to somebody who wants some free press"

 

It was all topped off by her telling Jordan that their star signs all copies free of charge, and she was sitting at a table off to the site looking at her feet, and Jordan walked up and held the movie out to her, and guess what... she just looked right through him.. lol. It was one off the funniest times I have had. Ok anyrate, sorry for interrupting Jordans Review, I just couldnt resist but add my editorial 2 cents....... Michael - Director, MoviesOnline.ca

Anyways, lets get into the movie shall we?

So to start off let me say that I started watching this movie at a friends house a few weeks ago and we turned it off for fear our heads might explode.  Not because it was over-the-top or anything like that but because it was excruciatingly bad.  I mean it was REALLY bad.

What could possibly be so bad about this movie that I would turn it off after 3 minutes of watching it?  Well for one the entire movie is dubbed (as I think it was filmed in Germany or something).  Not only is it dubbed but it is also dubbed BADLY…very badly.  It sounds like the dubbing was done in the directors basement and it totally does not fit with the mood of the movie.  I’m surprised they even bothered to dub the movie since the dialogue is absolutely terrible!  Most of the characters do nothing but string every swear word together in one mish-mashy sentence.

So besides the crappy dubbing and dialogue what else could be so bad about this movie you might ask?  Well let’s go into the story and explore it for a bit all right?

The movie starts with 3 guys on a boat.  They jump in their dingy (after swearing at each other for a bit) and row to shore.  We’re never told WHY they are going to this island…but they are, just accept it.  So they swear at each other on the beach for a bit before these guys in this very scary masks (insert sarcasm here) capture them and take them back to their camp.  Once they wake up at the camp they see a bunch of mask wearing freaks walking around…some carrying knifes and such, others carrying guns, just basically mulling about.  There are some guys that are apparently ‘training’ in a mock battle while their drill instructor swears at them.

We also meet the main characters of the movie, which are the 3 morons who got captured, Dr. Senius (who looks oddly like Hitler), the token mad scientist who enjoys mutilating corpses and experimenting on them, the Meister who is this big freaking…uhh…freak who apparently leads this band of losers, and Leon, an oriental outcast of the group.  Anyways one of the 3 morons is killed so now there are only 2 morons.  The Meister decides to let Leon and the 2 morons run so that his band of losers can ‘hunt’ them.  Pretty weak if you ask me.

Anyways, they run for a bit.  Leon stops, tells them this story where he was forced to rape some dead women…I don’t know why, he just was asked to.  They start to run again (now they have spears) and they come across a supply depot for the band of losers.  There are three guards at this depot and of course, our 3 runners.  On the count of three they all throw there spears and they all hit and kill the guards.  Wow…they are really great spear throwers.

There is some more running and eventually we FINALLY see some zombies.  They just sort of rise up from the ground and the 2 original morons run off scared even though Leon seems more than capable to handle the zombies.  He fights them while two of his friends (also outcasts, I guess they didn’t want to rape any corpses either) show up.  They fight, they laugh, we cringe, and the movie continues from there.

As you can see the story is absolutely awful.  One of the other things that is terrible about this movie is that it was filmed on what looks like recycled 16mm film.  The quality is just down right bad.  I could get better quality from my parent’s 10-year-old handi-cam than what these guys used.

So with all this stuff I hate about this movie…is there ANYTHING good?  Well…there is actually.  This has to be one of the goriest movies I have ever seen in my life.  I’m not joking either…from what they didn’t spend on good actors, decent dubbing or even good film they spent on special FX and fake blood.  I mean, the stuff that happens will absolutely blow your mind!  In one scene this guy gets these hooks in his chest and some tugs on them…bam, his chest is pulled open.  Another guy gets hooks in the mouth and his face gets ripped off.  There are head split open, bodies sliced in half, limbs broken, guts ripped out…it’s just an all out gore fest.

In fact, I think this whole movie was just an excuse for a couple of guys to enjoy trying out the new gore effects they learned in make-up school.  Honestly…I can’t see any other reason for this film!  Anyways…my recommendation?  Avoid this movie like the plague!  Unless you are a hardcore gore fan, you will not be able to stand this movie at all.  I hardly could…even the massive gore did not make me want to watch it.  Worst…movie…ever!