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October 31st, 2014

Obnoxious? Yes. Funny? Meh: Ten Characters You Love To Hate

Obnoxious? Yes. Funny? Meh: Ten Characters You Love To HateIn light of the uproar over Vince Vaughn’s use of the word “gay” in the trailer for “The Dilemma”, it got me thinking about a few things. No, not the social impetus of using “gay” in a negative way. That’s far too deep for my brain. However, judging from the trailer, it appears that Vaughn’s character is a bit of a buffoon so that character using that word in the poorest of social circumstances seems to be right in line with how he would act. Regardless, the movie looks abysmal so who really cares?

Actually, it got me thinking about characters that really irritate me. As you love lists and I love compiling lists, here are my Ten Characters That You Love To Hate. These are in no particular order and please, no wagering.

  • Trent, “Swingers”

Why not start off with a character played by the guy behind the guy that caused me to think of this list in the first place? Seriously, you would hate Trent’s guts. He’s the worst. He’s loud, destructive, and his over the top arrogance would never woo a woman who had half a brain.

Naturally, I want to hang out with this man.

  • Tie: Short Round and Willie, “Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom”

The whole “call him Dr. Jones doll” conversation could be used as a substitution for Epicac. These two are so disturbingly annoying, that I ritualistically burned this DVD after I bought the Indy DVD boxed set. Don’t worry, I chanted “Mola Ram” while I did it.

  • Ace Ventura, “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective”

Some of you may think that Jim Carrey’s Chip from “The Cable Guy” should make this list. Nope. I love it. Ace Ventura, however, is simply poison. The fact that I saw this in theaters on day one keeps me awake at night. Watch this movie enough and you’ll end up in a mental institution, not repeating “laces out”, but “damn you Jim Carrey for robbing me of my soul”.

  • Del Griffith, “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”

There are people that swear by this movie. I ain’t buying it folks. It’s just one annoying situation after another, which¬†compoundedly¬†get more ludicrous. I realize Del is supposed to be annoying, but after sixty minutes or so, he goes from annoying to Satan Spawn.

  • Kevin McCallister, “Home Alone”

The aftershave scene. The eyebrow raising while looking into the camera. The fact that 80% of the stuff he does to Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern would kill them one thousand times over is so insane, that it makes me sad to know that John Hughes wrote this mess.

  • Leo Getz, “Lethal Weapon 3″

Please notice that I am referencing the third movie, not the second “Lethal Weapon”. Joe Pesci is fantastic in the second one, but his character is so shoehorned into the third that it made me question my faith in humanity.

  • The entire cast of “Twilight”

I haven’t seen one of the movies and I never will. Just the fact that they exist is irritating. Everyone knows the joke: Twilight’s like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don’t understand.

  • Aunt Edna, “Vacation”

This is another movie that is the cinematic equivalent of nails down the chalkboard for me. There are only three good things about it: Christie Brinkley, Lindsay Buckingham’s “Holiday Road”, and when Aunt Edna croaks. Every other minute of this movie makes my teeth hurt, that’s how painful it is.

  • Greg Focker, “Meet The Parents”

Honestly, it’s not so much Ben Stiller that irks me as much as it is the entire movie. Even Robert DeNiro cannot be spared here; he’s as much to blame as every single man and woman involved, but Stiller really takes the cake. I mean, he burns down an altar, paints a cat, and spikes a volleyball into a woman’s face in one 24-hour period? Give me an effing break.

  • Morpheus, “The Matrix”

Dude, take off those ridiculous glasses, the leather duster, and answer a question with a straight freaking answer. No wonder Keanu seems so confused all the time! Oh. That’s just his method. My bad.

Honorable mention: Anyone you can think of and Jar Jar Binks.




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