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June 19th, 2018

It Apparently Can Rain All The Time: Marky Mark As The Crow?

The Interweb machine is all a flutter over the news that director Stephen Norrington has offered the lead role of his reboot of “The Crow” to Mark Wahlberg. Anybody remember the last time Marky Mark took on a lead action role? Yeah, it’s called “Max Payne”. Need I say more?

This is just a terrible, terrible move. The Crow is a dark and disturbed character and Wahlberg just doesn’t fit the bill. For starters, he’s just too damn handsome. This character watches his family be murdered just prior to his own death, then he comes back to life to avenge their deaths. Can you see the Wahlberg pulling off something that cold and calculating? I’m not so sure. It’s not that I don’t care for him as an actor, just not in this particular role.

Here are the five guys I think would be better for this part 100% of the time. These are in no particular order and as always, please no wagering.

  1. Cillian Murphy. While still a bit of a pretty boy, he’s got that edge to him that Wahlberg is lacking. Murphy actually was a pretty convincing scumbag in the underrated “Red Eye” and let’s face it, The Crow brutally murders several people. Sure, it’s an act of revenge but it’s still pretty damn harsh so it does require a certain evil panache.
  2. Alexander Skarsgard. I don’t watch “True Blood” at all. However, I’ve seen enough of this guy and he has the perfect look for the part. The Crow is an aspiring rock star and Skarsgard has that rocker look ready to go.
  3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Never mind the fact that I think he should be in every movie every made. I know Norrington said this version isn’t going to be as goth as the original flick, but there still has to be some pretty tortuous moments and JGL can definitely do brooding.
  4. Jared Leto. Don’t laugh. I’m serious. The action stuff may be a bit hard to believe, but rock star? Check. Tortured? Check. I really think he wouldn’t be a bad choice at all. I mean it. I think.
  5. Taylor Kitsch. Why not? He’s not too good looking and he’s got the hair for the part. You may think I’m nuts for suggesting him, but wait until “John Carter From Mars” comes out.

One Comment

  1. Cathvin87

    If Hollywood HAS to remake The Crow, cast Taylor Kistch, NOT Mark Wahlberg!!!

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