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May 26th, 2018

In Space, No One Can Hear Me Scream Over The Alien Prequel Being PG-13

There have been several rumors floating around about the much anticipated, highly geeked out over Ridley Scott-directed “Alien” prequel. The first insane rumor was that Scott wanted a $250 million budget from Fox. Did I mention that he wanted this budget for what was rumored to be a violently gory R-rated horror/sci-fi flick? Well he did. I believe he also asked for several vials of orphans tears and a scarf made of unicorn pelts.

Today, Vulture has a report that not only will the prequel be backing off on the F-word, it’s going to pull back so much so that there is a greater than good possibility this movie will be PG-13. Well, looks like any rehashing of the original Alien-chest burst scene is right out. That scene gave people heart palpitations in theaters the first time around so there is just no way something like that makes the cut in a PG-13 flick. Not a chance.

The good news (for me, as a “Lost” addict) is that Fox is going bananas over a script from Damon Lindelof, he of the “Lost” brain trust. If there’s anybody that will stay faithful to the thriller angle from the original “Alien”, it’s this guy. Face it, you’re reading this so that means you are a movie nerd. He’s one of us people. Seriously. The guy wore a “Star Wars” t-shirt to his first meeting with J.J. Abrams. What more proof do you need?

The bad news is just my opinion: Fox wants Natalie Portman to star in the lead role of a female Marine general. While I completely dig the chick lead role, I’m just not down with Portman. She is too cute and mousy. Sigourney Weaver looked and sounded like a badass. Portman looks like she still wants to put headphones on me and force me to listen to The Shins. Of course, I don’t have a solution to this one. I do, but it’s based completely on bias: get Evangeline Lilly. She’s pretty, athletic, and she looks cool holding a gun.


  1. Pat

    If the final film truly is PG-13, I suggest–nay, demand–a boycott. Fox should’ve learned at least this one important lesson from Alien vs. Predator.

  2. Megabearsfan

    I have a better solution: DON’T MAKE AN ALIEN PREQUEL!

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