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June 25th, 2018

5 WTF Horror Movie Moments

WTF: An internet slang acronym for “What the F**k?”. -Wikipedia. Horror is a genre that prides itself on exploiting, exploring, and experimenting with social taboos and borderline reprehensible subject matter.  So as a horror film enthusiast like yourself, there are certain expectations in your mind when you walk into a horror film.  You mentally prepare yourself for some nudity, explicit gore, strong language and violence before you even buy your ticket or rent your DVD.  But every once in a while, a film transcends all expectations, not necessarily in the most positive of ways, but instead it gives you a specific scene or special moment that causes the most logical and expecting horror fans to jump out of their seats and scream “WHAT THE F**K!!!???”  Here are five moments in horror films that had that specific effect on me.

Most Likely there are spoilers ahead, also the list in is no special order

The Thing (Dir: John Carpenter – 1982): Ineffective Defibrillator In one of the most classic scenes in John Carpenter’s masterpiece “The Thing”, the good doctor Wilford Brimley (he is a real doctor right?) is trying his best to save one of his friends who seems to be undergoing cardiac arrest when everything in the camp is about to fall apart.  When they get out the defibrillator, the doctor yells “CLEAR” and slams his hands down towards the body only to have their man’s entire midsection open up like a mouth, filled with large triangular teeth and bite of Wilford Brimley’s god damn arms at the elbow.  It’s a WTF moment because up until this point in the film, we were aware that an alien species could manipulate their shape to look like any human, but no way in hell were we ever prepared for that to happen.  However in the world of the film, we were never told that it couldn’t happen, so no one was really expecting a chest cavity to take off a man’s arms at the elbow.  If anyone said that they saw that coming, they are a dirty rotten liar.

Zombi II (Dir: Lucio Fulci – 1979): Zombie vs Shark In one of horror’s most famous WTF scenes, you get to see what would happen if a zombie would fight a shark.  I’m not kidding about this one at all.  A zombie, get dropped off of a boat and somehow runs into a tiger shark that wants to eat him.  An underwater fight ensues that solved the age old question that nobody asked.  Particularly, this film is famous for this scene because of the absolute ridiculousness of it and the resounding sound of “WHAT THE F**K!!! that every single person that has ever watched it has given off.  Seriously, it’s not like this scene moved the lot along or added to the story at all, it’s just a zombie fighting a shark.  Like, someone wanted to throw in a scene of a zombie fighting a shark, and then when every sane person asked “Why”, they replied with “Because we can”.  Good enough for me I suppose.

Re-Animator (Dir: Stuart Gordon – 1985): Severed Head Fellatio Ever since I’ve seen this film, whenever I see a severed head in a horror film, the first thing that comes to my mind is oral sex (and you know what, F**k you Re-Animator for that one).  Our female lead Megan (Barbara Crampton) is strapped to an operating table in the morgue completely naked when her father Dean Halsey  (Robert Sampson) has his own disembodied… body acting on its own will while carrying around his own head.  So basically, he is holding his head outstretched towards a very naked Megan and… well… yeah… And also that is his daughter! Obviously some kind of evil happened that turned his severed head to become insane, but I mean… Jesus… WHAT THE F**K!!

Hellraiser (Dir: Clive Barker – 1987): Check this out… The whole movie Hellraiser can be just one giant WTF moment, but I’m going to one up you there and pull out one very specific scene from the film that I still don’t understand today.  So, Frank (Sean Chapman) is up in the attic as a part skeleton man who drinks blood and will eventually regain his human body.  So there’s that, but right now, the crazy bitch of a wife Julia (Clare Higgins) is making love to her husband Larry (Andrew Robinson) while the entire time she’s thinking about how much she has the hots for Frank and helping him with his blood lust thing he’s got going on.  Anyway, so while Clare is looking, Frank appears at the foot of the bed with a rat in his hand, and just cuts a huge chunk out of it.  There isn’t a huge confrontation scene at all; he just cuts a rat, that’s it.  Then Frank goes back into the shadows without his brother Larry ever seeing him.  It’s like Frank was saying “Hey girl I know you’re busy, but check this out!” then fillets a rat right in front of her.  I still don’t know why this happened at all and I don’t think I’ll ever understand it.

Freaked (Dirs: Tom Stern and Alex Winter – 1993): The whole goddamn thing. If you can stomach watching this film that is filled with horrible early nineties humor (bad airplane food, Hollywood Squares spoofs, Gremlins 3 reference, stealing hotel towels, all of which appear in the first half hour of the movie) and some pretty good special effects, you’ll get treated with a Freak Show that includes Bobcat Goldthwait as a sock man, and Mr. T as the bearded woman.  No, really.  I want you to really think about that statement.  Can you come up with any kind of context where that would make any sense at all?  Me neither, and neither did the movie.

These are just a few of the WTF moments that I can up with, so expect more articles like this and any suggestions you may have.


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